Thursday, December 06, 2007

That Sweet Escape...

I'm tired.... as always u may say...
the difference is...
this time i'm really tired....
as in really...
really tired...

i m physically tired, mentally drained...
i m so exhausted
dat i tink i m now using my backup emergency batt to move on...

i still haveng got the rest i deserve from the wedding..
imagine, the wedding is like over almost 3 weeks..
n here i m... still craving that rest i so deserved..
imagine, i havent rest since pre-wedding days...
3 weeks now...
n i've been bringing werk hm from dat time.

werk. hm.
unlike me yeah.
i've nvr seen myself so hardwerking n responsible.
bt i dun haf a choice.
many a times wen i'm tempted to bring werk hm before,
i told myself, 'no!'
coz i know dat once i start, i wun stop.

n now it had to happen. i had to bring werk hm coz of stupid deadlines. i was so desperate dat 2 days ago i actually loaned out the sch's tablet so dat i cn werk at hm...
my life after werk consists of me bathing, eating den cont werking till midnite.
den i'll be too tired to sleep.
so i'l read.
den i'll go to bed at ard 2.
n den wake up in thewee hrs,anxious n tinking abt werk.
my mind is filled with thinking..
"ok, tmr, wen i get into the ofis, i'll do this den that, den i'll clear this, n oh ya, dun forget dat, n wat more did i miss..."
dat will go on till 4.30.
den i doze off again..
n wake up at 5.30...again... den anxiously counting the time...
"1h more to go, b4 werk starts!"
my brain wld say.

n den the alarm rings..
n off i go, start my day,
feeling more tired, as the day passes by.

after a mth of going tru this routine,
i had an almost breakdown period at werk juz now.
Y?
coz i m damn tired of seeing the same old report, playing ping pong with me.
n den i haf to rush for deadlines. sumting dat is due on mon, haf to be finished on thurs for the simple reason of i wun b in the ofis on fri.

n the report is nvr ending, n ppl kip making mistakes n thus the ping pong game.

in the middle of me trying to stay calm, meeting the deadlines, stressed out over the deadlines n reports, pissed that i'm doing sum1 else's job, trying hard to control nt to curse out loud,
i had to run ard doing other tings.other mediocre tings that cld n shld be done by others who obviously is nt doing the report.
bt instead, who had to do it. me.
n i had to do it thrice. talking abt waste of time.
i had to look for envelopes, files,entertain walk in, answer phones, all of this dat cld be handled by other 'experienced professionals' bt instead, passed over to a young newbie like me.
where is the fairness?

i m rushing for a god-damned report people! get that in your freaking heads!

n in that business, i forgot to raise n ITQ.sumting wic is impt coz i need the VP to approve first b4 he leaves, n he is leaving realllllll soon. i'm dead. see, i'm sill worried abt werk. wat m i?
a werkaholic now? eeeeeeeeeeeee! gross!

my body is aching so bad, dat its numb.
my head feels heavy.
i dun tink i cn bring myself to another day of this.
no wonder i cnt wait for that trip.
trip to KL sounds excellent now, wen i tink abt it, n compare it to now.
i cnt wait for that sweet escape!

on a lighter note,
guess who called me juz now?
not jonet! i wished!
roydi.
truth is, i'm surprised.
bt it's gd to hear from him.
other than dat.
i'm keeping mum.
till further notice.

gtg, i wanna go sleep...

*yeah rite!*

fine, i'll go read myself till i sleep..
ciao!

Posted by DiStUrBeD AnGeL at 11:00 PM